Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
