I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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