i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
soo... how was my night?
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