Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
ttyl tear gas
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
