I hate all girls vehemently.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
