He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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