Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
