Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
