Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
