My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
