i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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