You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
