all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
