I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
