yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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