I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
