We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
