THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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