So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
