is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
