Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
