Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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