he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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