tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
