I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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