the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
