Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
