I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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