You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you bring me the toilet please
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
