We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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