I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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