Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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