I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
