porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
