Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
