We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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