i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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