The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
