And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
