Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
