He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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