dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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