I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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