One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i came on her dog
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
