it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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