Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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