My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
please come you make the beer taste better
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
