My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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