i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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