Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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